Domestic Violence

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Whether it is a man hitting a woman; a woman hitting a man, or same sex violence, it has to stop. While the majority of Domestic Violence cases do involve men hitting women, please remember; this is 2013 and we are not cave-people!

Let’s discuss the phases of Domestic Violence.

• The Honeymoon Phase-This where the abuser professes their love for the victim. That eventually falls by the wayside, and we go to the next phase.
• Tension Building Phase-The victim walks around on “egg shells,” trying not to enrage the abuser. That does not work, ever! Let’s go on to the final phase.
• The Assault Phase-It is self-explanatory. The abuser decides to assault the victim!

The abuser will seek to separate the victim from friends and family. Isolate the victim, and it will occur without them realizing what is happening. It is all about control!

They are nice; they are angry, and they assault. They are remorseful, again, and then it is back to the Honeymoon Phase. The cycle begins, again!

However, the Honeymoon Phase or I am a nice person gets shorter. They become comfortable, and the new normal is “nasty and violent.” Eventually, things are always tense or physical; the cuddly person gone! If you are reading this and it describes you. Get out of the relationship, now! Things will not change; no matter how many times they tell you it will.

If you or anyone you know is a victim of this horrible situation, get help, now! This is not normal; this is not to be confused with love. It is not a way to live. Do not let the abuser win! You deserve to live a happy and healthy life.

This is a quick note for those with children. Your children are experiencing, or should I say, living through this, too. They see and remember every single incident. The abuser will physically abuse them, too! Not to mention the mental abuse they are experiencing. Your children will begin to think this behavior is normal, and will take it with them into their relationships as teenagers and adults.

Please remember this: You are not supposed to be hit or abused by someone who loves you. It is not normal or natural for this to occur. They may use excuses for their behavior, such as, they had a rough childhood; they love you so much and that makes them jealous if anyone speaks to you, etc. Remember those are not excuses for anyone to abuse you or your children. There are no excuses, period!

If involved in an abusive relationship contact your local police department or Domestic Violence shelter. Your local police department will have the telephone numbers of the shelters, and they offer total anonymity. Remember that most, if not all, shelters except children.

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